I had an idea to write a musical about a man who lived about 200 years ago and made profound contributions that affect our everyday lives to this very day, although his story remains relatively unknown. But when I revealed that this man’s name was Hamilton, I was accused of plagiarism!

That’s so unfair–with all due respect to Lin-Manuel Miranda, nobody has written a musical about William Rowan Hamilton, the 19th century Irish mathematician. Today, April 1st 2021, I’m sharing parts of three songs from this highly original musical.

William Rowan Hamilton

William Rowan Hamilton was a child prodigy in mathematics, linguistics, physics…

In the 1970’s we thought that our rock and roll icons were leading a revolution against the establishment, and we the fans were part of it. In 2020, when I see that a Wealth Management company sponsored the Rolling Stones tour, I realize we’ve all become the bourgeois. So here are some suggested lyric changes for future tours, when they happen again:

The Who

Things they do look awful c-c-c-cold
I hope I incorporate before I get old
To avoid my taxation
To avoid my taxation, baby

The Police

Back when cafes were open, I met an enthusiastic programmer who wanted to tell me how awesome the Clojure language is. This is a sentiment with which I wholeheartedly agreed, and we had a great discussion. But I found it somewhat ironic that this programmer seemed not to realize that earlier in my career I had used Lisp (which Clojure is a dialect of) as my primary language for 15 years. It reminded me of this Johnny Cash song:

so I wrote down these lyrics:

I’ve Consed Every Pair

I was totin’ my laptop at a trendy Palo Alto cafe
When I passed…

March 20th was the first day of spring, but it is April 1st when many people start thinking about getting in shape for the coming summer months. Finding the right gym can be confusing. I regularly pass by the Functional Lifestyles gym in Palo Alto on my daily commute, but I didn’t understand how they operate until I stopped in and had a chance to interview their Irish-American head trainer, Miranda Haskell-O’Caml.

Functional Lifestyles, Park Blvd, Palo Alto, CA

Q Miranda, can you tell us the philosophy of Functional Lifestyles?

A Functional Lifestyles is dedicated to making our clients stronger, slimmer, healthier, more robust, more concise, more…

Many readers are no doubt familiar with Forbidden Planet, the documentary film about the Krell — a civilization that came to an unfortunate end just at the launch of what could have been their biggest achievement. Ever since the film’s release in 1956, xenoanthropologists have been stymied by a lack of source material on the Krell.

Krell Technology

But on April 1, researchers from the OpenNMT institute announced a stunning success in translating previously undecipherable Krell messages, thanks to deep neural machine translation technology.

They note that the Krell language has three grammatical pluractionality markers, one for public speech addressed to everyone…

If you (or your parents) were learning to read in the 1960s, you were probably introduced to the books of author/illustrator P. D. Eastman:

I always assumed that P. D. Eastman was a typical American man living a Mad Men existence in the 50s and 60s, turning out children’s books for a living. (Or maybe, like Wallace Stevens, as a diversion from his day job at an insurance agency.)

But in a fascinating exhibit opening April 1 at the National Center for Children’s Illustrated Literature, the truth was revealed for the first time. It turns out that “P. D. …

Peter Norvig

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